Let me make it clear. At any point you do not adhere to my instruction there will be a financial consequence or even worse than that. I will dismiss you from serving or minimize the contact with myself.
You are my bitch. <<
This message by Mistress Kiana on the first day of my three weeks long quarantine in Beijing left no room for interpretation or negotiations and set me from the beginning under permanent pressure and fear. I am in Asia for business reasons but the COVID-19 regulations in China are tough. You undergo 21 days of hotel quarantine, meaning: you are the only person you will meet during this period of time – in the bad room’s mirror.
But this is not the story of something else than how Mistress guided me with firm and helping hands through an unusual time. She did it with all her power and her anger, but also with all her clemency.
I had to send eleven messages every day. A “good morning, Mistress” when I stood up, although it was late evening or already night in the Goddess’ time zone. Three pictures of the three meals. The notification that I would do the next (of my three) workouts in 60 minutes. The information that I have done them. And a “good night, Mistress” before I closed my eyes. Mistress Kiana structured my days and gave me enough reason to think on her and to adore her. On top, I had to wear a chastity cage 24/7 for the whole period, and just once I got permission to open it and to jerk off. Before that experience, I wore the “fucker”, how the device is called by Mistress, maybe three or five or eight days in a row but not longer. Believe me, surfing the web looking out for Mistress Kiana’s astonishingly beautiful pictures is no good idea when your dick is locked away. My mistake, of course, and it’s fair enough that I suffered. And twice, Mistress also made me insert a butt-plug for some hours.
The days in quarantine can be long if you don’t have anything to do, but luckily enough I was kept busy with some business stuff. Beside this, I had to report to Mistress every little unusual detail that happened during my day and I had to get permission from her before I set actions.
I never knew at which time it would happen, but I was always touched when Empress checked in by video-call. Sometimes I had to perform my workout naked while she was enjoying breakfast. Sometimes, I was kneeling in front of her paying attention to her advices: drink water, meditate, and be good. Sometimes, it felt like the inspection in a prison cell but then my next thought was that I couldn’t be more blessed with a unique guardess like Mistress. And always, I felt like a dog that fears the punishment but still can’t stop to follow its owner.
Most of the time, Mistress sent a voice-message – 71 in 21 days, and every one of them made my heart beat faster. What have I missed? What are her next commends? But by all fear and helplessness I always was just happy to hear Goddess’ voice from the other part of the World again and again.
Mistress Kiana was the center of my thoughts, the bright sun in my pitch dark cell, the guide every man needs. I could write that towards the end of the three weeks, the Stockholm syndrome asked for more attention but this wouldn’t be the whole truth. I have met Mistress ten years ago for the first time and I was intrigued by her presence and imprisoned by her character. At first, it seemed a way to pay reparations but soon I lost all myself to her. Even later on, when Mistress wasn’t playing the main role in my normal boring life, she was always there, in the background of my thoughts, and I always felt to be under her inspection. I would even go a step further – I was, and am, always and completely in her hands. If someone on earth has the power to ruin me psychically, morally, economically, it’s Mistress Kiana. These thoughts make me frighten and that makes me beg day after day: Please, Goddess, ruin me on another day. There are no walls, no guards, no power, and even no will, from my side to withstand her.
While I’m writing this, I start to cry for joy and fear.
For joy – that Mistress supported me through a not so easy time, though making these weeks selectively even harder. When I failed, Mistress Kiana did not hold back with punishments – but the knowledge to have disappointed a true Goddess hurt even more.
For fear – because it’s over. How will my life develop without Mistress Kiana in the center of my thoughts? Is a life without Mistress worth living?